String Theory-

This is the last blog, of the last day of the story of the trip that i took to India. I leave at one twenty in the morning. I can't say that i had the best of times or the wort of times, but i had an experience. Sometimes all you need to do is go out walk around and have absolutely nothing to think about or need to go anywhere. Much of what i did here was walk around, usually lost; i went to temples, meditated in ashrams, walked barefoot, and that was great but i honestly had more fun just walking around not going anywhere not buying anything just walking. I will come back to India i know that. I don't really know what i'm going to do next but then i never really try very hard to look into my future. To me every thing is connected. I came to india, i am leaving india. Sometimes all you need to do is walk around the streets alone at night in the moonlight listening to waves crash against the rocky shore and say "I want This". . .

Return to sender

So tomorrow i take a fun bus ride to madras. Then o goody a 33 hour train ride from mardas to delhi. i am pretty much going to be home in the next few days to a week. You know i could have stayed here a lot longer but for right now i'm good with only staying a month. How many people can say they walked around india for a month all by their lonesome. Of course i did meet some awesome people along the way but for the most part i was on my own. I does take a certain nack to traveling at first i was a little aprehensive, i have never really traveled around a distant country with no real plan in mind. Of course i made plans, revised then changed them agian. Finally you just have to say fuck it, pick a direction read whats there and just go. I will return to india some day. I might even want some people to travel with. But for now, traveling alone is one of the greatest things you can experience in your life. You have to be completely self sufficient, but not cloyster yourself in a hostel and never come out. Try to experience the experience of just being there. Do the things that scare you the most.
"cut yourself open sow yourself shut".
For those of you out there that know this quote you will know exacltly what i'm trying to say. Sometimes the world can be explained in just a few words.

Pestilence

Change of planes, Pondicherry was an interesting place. But i hardly slept there. i went out for a walk in the middle of the night and walked to the beach. I listened to the waves crash against the shore for about an hour and a half then i walked back to my hostel mothers guest house. Yea i should not walk around at one in the morning but i couldn't sleep. I am surprisingly good i finding my way in India. Usually for instance in utah i have no idea where the fuck i'm going most the time i just follow landmarks or the car or people in front of me because i figure they must be going to the same place i am. But here in idia there are no real street signs, or if there are i can't find them but i have a weird anitdirectional locater in my head this way now that way down the block. I can find my hostel every time; it's truely uncany. Believe me i was shocked to figure this out. O yes i'm in a place called mamallapura now and the hostel i stayed at last night was a true nightmare. there were the biggest mosquitos in the room, and well the bathrom there were spiders handing from the celiling. i swear when the apocolypse comes and the horsemen starty riding Pestilence will come from this hostel. but im staying in a better place now and the town in right on the beach so everything is cool for now. I'm going to Chennai in a few days then to Delhi and possible Rishikesh, we'll see*

"Lady Albright hath no accent!!!!!!"

Tirumanamalai, yea that's spelled wrong i don't even care. It was interesting, so this guy lived in these three different caves at one time or another on the side of Mt arunamachula. He was a very spiritualy aware man who unfortinatly lived a wretched life not eating or sleeping just meditating and drinking milk sometimes. But their is this energy. around the temple and the mountain, it's weird but i thought the strangest thoughts. I would just sit up for hours not sleeping. I'm glad to leave it but it was really nice because when i left it started raining. And if you know me in the slightest bit you know that obove anything that existes on earth i would throw it all away just for the rain. IT also helped me feel better. I still feel pretty sickly but i'm going to go to much more chill places from now on. I have decided that i am going to do it my way; i don't necisarily need to see every temple and sacred stone to experience india, it's what i take from just being here. I'm in Pondicherry right now which is by the ocean, but i can't find a fucking place to eat. It's like this weird french place and you would expect you know something, no not really just shops to buy american cloths. I just have to laugh that in india you can look like an american because everyone knows how beautiful we are right, but do any of them really look at america besides the mega celebrites and tv shows which we all know is a gross representation of reality. Anyway i'm probable going to be in mumbai in a few days who knows?

ICK VICK BLUT!!!!!

I smell blood. Everywhere i go i seam to smell blood. I walk around hopelessly lost and find the fish market the chicken house and the infimous meat market. NO really it's funnier than it sounds i've been a vegetarian for 6 years right my body would not know how to properly digest meat. And it seems that's all i can find. Even in Darjeeling a small town on the side of the mountain i find the every dead animal for sail before i find some god damn tea. NO really it's funnier than it sounds. Also i have been never ben so pressured to do drugs in my life. Every five seconds "hash man, YOu want to buy some Hash, no really i have good stuff how much" i wish they could speak english better so i could tell them to fuck off. or the beggers, these beggers were engineired to be super beggers the adults just look so horrid and look so sad the only good side is their english is so nice i can clearly hear them saying "please sir i have no food" so i have given some people money but it adds up India is cheap but i can't go throwing money around all willy nilly. O GOD i have never in my life had such disdain for children because they don't just beg they pull or your cloths follow you for blocks and then when it looks like they are not getting anything they signal the rest of the gang to join in. I have never been so tempted to throw all my money in the center of the street just to see what would happen, No really it's funnier than it sounds. This all sounds like whinning i realise that but i'm not going to babble on about how great everything is that would be to easy and boaring and totally not my style. but i'm in Chennai madras now so everything is good and i'm off to see the mountain where Shiva appeared as a pillar of flame maybe today or tomorrow.